GC: Now this next piece of material is about something I thnk everybody can identify with. It's about losing things. I hate to lose anything. I don't wanna lose anything, because, 'where is it?' See, basically, that's the part that bothers me the most. I'm a practical guy...'Where is it? I just had it.' You know that feeling, 'IT WAS JUST HERE!'"
"Where is it? I don't know. It's gone! That's true.' It's lost!' I know.' Where could it be?' Could be anywhere!' Maybe it'll come back' Maybe, but not yet.' ...It's gone!' That's true...are we gonna' go through this again?'
Where do things go when they're lost? You know what I think? I think there's a big pile of things somewhere. I think there's a big constantly changing pile of things that are lost. You lose something, whoo-pop, it goes to the pile. And then you say, 'Oh look, there it is,' whoowhoowhoowhoowhoowhooph. Right back from the pile. And you didn't even know there was a pile. And where is the pile? In Heaven, of course...has to be in Heaven. That's the first thing that happens when you get to Heaven, They give you back everything you ever lost. That's the whole meaning of Heaven. You get back everything; "Here ya' are, 79 pairs of sunglasses, 212 cigarette lighters, 4,983 ball point pens."
Have you noticed that there are some people, who when they lose something, their first reaction is that it had to be stolen? First thing- "Hey! It was stolen!" It's an ego defense. They can't stand the fact that they might have been stupid enough to have lost something. And even if it's something that nobody would really want that much. "Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my pocket watch that has a hanky, garden hose and pencil sharpener in it."
You look in the strangest places; d'you ever look in the freezer for your car keys? Hey, you might as well. Why not? They might be in there! Wouldn't wanna pass up a nice obvious place like the freezer, would ya? 'Cause you can talk yourself into it, you can picture them in there, that's what the mind is for...picturing where you left your car keys. You can follow the logic all the way back to the supermarket. "I came outta the supermarket and I had the frozen banana guacamole in my hand. I put it next to me, drove home. When I got out, I picked up the banana guacamole in this hand, I had the car keys in this hand, I put it in the freezer, I probably just put the keys right down next to it. Let's go take a look...AHHH! They're not in there! I coulda sworn I left those keys in the freezer. And HEY!...Who STOLE THE FROZEN BANANA GUACAMOLE?!"
Here's another thing that happens when you're looking for something. Every now and then, you'll go back to where the thing ought to be. You might be out in the garage looking and suddenly you'll go back and open the top drawer- "Whoop. Nope. Not back yet." You're convinced that St. Anthony will bring the keys back while you're in the garage. And if you're looking for your car keys, one obvious place where you have to look six or seven hundred times is your pocket! You will wear out the cloth in your pocket looking because that's where they ought to be.
Of course, those are obvious things...easy things like car keys. Sometimes, an unusual item is missing...like, the couch. You ever come home and the couch is gone?
'Where's the couch!'
'I don't know.'
'It's gone!'
'That's true.'
'Where could it be?'
'Could be anywhere!'
'Maybe it'll come back.'
'Maybe, but not this, no, it's too big actually, nothing over 4 feet ever comes back on it's own.'
'Well it was here this morning.'
'Well of course it was here this morning. There'd be no sense in mentioning the fact that it isn't here now unless it had been here this morning. There'd be no basis for a comparison...'
'Forget this, I'm tired of your malarkey! Why don't you take your logic and go to bed?'
'I can't.'
'Why not?'
'I sleep on the couch.'
Hope you enjoyed!!!!!
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