Monologue Wednesday: "Honest Slogans"

Hey Mike. Guess what day it is? IT’S MONOLOGUE WEDNESDAY! And today, I am here with an entertaining list of businesses with some honest slogans I have come up with based on their products and services.

AXE- Spray a lot on. Women love it.
Best Buy- Try it out before purchasing it on Amazon.
Blockbuster- Never paying that late fee finally paid off.
Burger King- Have it your way. Eat at Wendy’s.
Capri Sun- Careful you don’t poke a hole through the back.
Crayola- The white one is useless.
Dunkin Donuts- American relies too much on Dunkin.
Facebook- We know more about you than the FBI.
Febreeze- Make your house smell like freshly-laundered garbage.
Froot Loops- They are all the same flavor.
IKEA- We throw in extra parts just to mess with you.
Jimmy’s Auto Shop- Free brake check. Stop here if you can.
Lay’s- Flavored air.
LEGO- The bane of your foot’s existence.
McDonalds- When you only have $4.
Nature Valley- CRUMBS. EVERYWHERE.
Netflix- Spend more time browsing than actually watching.
Old Spice- Smell like Grandpa.
Pizza Hut- For some odd reason, we have a salad bar.
Progressive- Flo is annoying.
Sharpie- Instantly turns the sleeping victim into a canvas.
Slinky- Turns into a tangled mess within seconds.
Sprite- Liquid Skittles.
Sun Chips- Opening the bag is louder than eating the chips.
Walmart- Always low class. ALWAYS!
Wii- We would like you to throw the remote into your TV.

Hope you folks enjoyed this Wednesday's monologue.