My School/Fun Stuff

Hi. My name is Kody Brunet and I am a grade 12 student at TLC. I love going to school here because there are so many cool things students can do here like use our green screen TLC has for filming movies (something I love to do). Plus, students learn how to use different Adobe and music composition softwares for creating art and music and we even have three Makerbot 3-D printers! TLC is close to my home so I don't have a long bus ride to campus. Overall, I enjoy school and am excited to graduate so I can start a new chapter in my life.

One thing I like to do at school more than anything is writing monologues. Preferably, I enjoy writing stand-up comedy monologues because I have always wanted to become a performer in that area. And recently at school, I have written and completed a full stand-up comedy performance entitled "Dangerously Awesome." I am also creating a movie for it as well as an audio track for people who would rather listen to it. All of this will take place at my school with the use of a video camera, green screen and an audience (which is some of my friends).

Well, this was a little introduction about me, things I enjoy about my school and what my upcoming projects are at school. Mainly, this will be a stand-up comedy blog for viewers to read monologues, listen to my audio track for "Dangerously Awesome" (when it is completed) and view images (yes, there will be images that always relate to my posts).

(BTW, Kman is one of my nicknames and I created this image using Adobe Photoshop).

Monologue Wednesday: "Honest Slogans"

Hey Mike. Guess what day it is? IT’S MONOLOGUE WEDNESDAY! And today, I am here with an entertaining list of businesses with some honest slogans I have come up with based on their products and services.

AXE- Spray a lot on. Women love it.
Best Buy- Try it out before purchasing it on Amazon.
Blockbuster- Never paying that late fee finally paid off.
Burger King- Have it your way. Eat at Wendy’s.
Capri Sun- Careful you don’t poke a hole through the back.
Crayola- The white one is useless.
Dunkin Donuts- American relies too much on Dunkin.
Facebook- We know more about you than the FBI.
Febreeze- Make your house smell like freshly-laundered garbage.
Froot Loops- They are all the same flavor.
IKEA- We throw in extra parts just to mess with you.
Jimmy’s Auto Shop- Free brake check. Stop here if you can.
Lay’s- Flavored air.
LEGO- The bane of your foot’s existence.
McDonalds- When you only have $4.
Nature Valley- CRUMBS. EVERYWHERE.
Netflix- Spend more time browsing than actually watching.
Old Spice- Smell like Grandpa.
Pizza Hut- For some odd reason, we have a salad bar.
Progressive- Flo is annoying.
Sharpie- Instantly turns the sleeping victim into a canvas.
Slinky- Turns into a tangled mess within seconds.
Sprite- Liquid Skittles.
Sun Chips- Opening the bag is louder than eating the chips.
Walmart- Always low class. ALWAYS!
Wii- We would like you to throw the remote into your TV.

Hope you folks enjoyed this Wednesday's monologue.

Monologue Wednesday: "Losing Things"

HEY MIKE! GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS??? IT'S MONOLOGUE WEDNESDAY!! And today's monologue will be about "Losing Things" by one of my favorite comedians of all time George Carlin.


GC: Now this next piece of material is about something I thnk everybody can identify with. It's about losing things. I hate to lose anything. I don't wanna lose anything, because, 'where is it?' See, basically, that's the part that bothers me the most. I'm a practical guy...'Where is it? I just had it.' You know that feeling, 'IT WAS JUST HERE!'"

"Where is it? I don't know. It's gone! That's true.' It's lost!' I know.' Where could it be?' Could be anywhere!' Maybe it'll come back' Maybe, but not yet.' ...It's gone!' That's true...are we gonna' go through this again?'

Where do things go when they're lost? You know what I think? I think there's a big pile of things somewhere. I think there's a big constantly changing pile of things that are lost. You lose something, whoo-pop, it goes to the pile. And then you say, 'Oh look, there it is,' whoowhoowhoowhoowhoowhooph. Right back from the pile. And you didn't even know there was a pile. And where is the pile? In Heaven, of course...has to be in Heaven. That's the first thing that happens when you get to Heaven, They give you back everything you ever lost. That's the whole meaning of Heaven. You get back everything; "Here ya' are, 79 pairs of sunglasses, 212 cigarette lighters, 4,983 ball point pens."

Have you noticed that there are some people, who when they lose something, their first reaction is that it had to be stolen? First thing- "Hey! It was stolen!" It's an ego defense. They can't stand the fact that they might have been stupid enough to have lost something. And even if it's something that nobody would really want that much. "Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my pocket watch that has a hanky, garden hose and pencil sharpener in it."

You look in the strangest places; d'you ever look in the freezer for your car keys? Hey, you might as well. Why not? They might be in there! Wouldn't wanna pass up a nice obvious place like the freezer, would ya? 'Cause you can talk yourself into it, you can picture them in there, that's what the mind is for...picturing where you left your car keys. You can follow the logic all the way back to the supermarket. "I came outta the supermarket and I had the frozen banana guacamole in my hand. I put it next to me, drove home. When I got out, I picked up the banana guacamole in this hand, I had the car keys in this hand, I put it in the freezer, I probably just put the keys right down next to it. Let's go take a look...AHHH! They're not in there! I coulda sworn I left those keys in the freezer. And HEY!...Who STOLE THE FROZEN BANANA GUACAMOLE?!"

Here's another thing that happens when you're looking for something. Every now and then, you'll go back to where the thing ought to be. You might be out in the garage looking and suddenly you'll go back and open the top drawer- "Whoop. Nope. Not back yet." You're convinced that St. Anthony will bring the keys back while you're in the garage. And if you're looking for your car keys, one obvious place where you have to look six or seven hundred times is your pocket! You will wear out the cloth in your pocket looking because that's where they ought to be.

Of course, those are obvious things...easy things like car keys. Sometimes, an unusual item is missing...like, the couch. You ever come home and the couch is gone?

'Where's the couch!'
'I don't know.'
'It's gone!'
'That's true.'
'Where could it be?'
'Could be anywhere!'
'Maybe it'll come back.'
'Maybe, but not this, no, it's too big actually, nothing over 4 feet ever comes back on it's own.'
'Well it was here this morning.'
'Well of course it was here this morning. There'd be no sense in mentioning the fact that it isn't here now unless it had been here this morning. There'd be no basis for a comparison...'
'Forget this, I'm tired of your malarkey! Why don't you take your logic and go to bed?'
'I can't.'
'Why not?'
'I sleep on the couch.'

Hope you enjoyed!!!!!

Monologue Wednesday: "The Weather Channel"

Hello. I am posting today about something I will be doing on "Kody's Komedy Klub." It is called "Monologue Wednesday." To celebrate Hump Day, every day for a certain amount of time, I will be posting a comedic monologue from me every Wednesday.

Oh yeah. It's Wednesday! So to celebrate the start of "Monologue Wednesday," here's a monologue about "The Weather Channel":

Weather Channel:
Wow, TV’s come a long way; we can watch so many channels now. But I’ll tell ya, I never saw this one coming...

The Weather Channel

When the Weather Channel hit TV, I thought “Riighttt.... People are going to watch a channel... about the weather." Next to watching the perpetual fireplace channel, I can’t think of a more boring concept for a TV program. “Oh no” they say....”people want to watch the weather. In fact they want to watch it so much, we’re going to repeat the same stuff every 20 minutes." Riiighttt....

Know what scares me most about the Weather channel? I’ve started watching it. I did. As bad as that sounds, the great thing about the Weather Channel is not having to follow a story. Cloudy with sunny periods. 60% chance of showers. That’s easy. You can’t get lost in the plot, or confused about who did it, in this story. And there’s that catchy tune that starts every time the ‘Local Forecast’ is coming. I dive in front of the TV when I hear that playing. They talk about the rest of the Country and the world for 20 minutes. Then that Local forecast tune hits and you think... “Hey, we’re on!” “Guys!!!!!!! Come quick! We’re on TV! It’s the LOCAL FORECAST!”

Previously over looked potential channels are now being considered. Like... The Benjamin Moore channel. We can finally tune in to watch paint drying. And The Pet Care channel: -Don’t miss this weeks special- “Flossing your cats teeth.” fun for the whole family! But at least these channels have topics that change a little. The Weather channel's stories are so limited. There’s rain, sun, cloudy, snow and some storms; then you’ve seen it all. After that you’re guaranteed to be watching reruns. So I imagine them, in the board room, trying to come up with other stuff to fill in the time and make the weather entertaining....

So, I hope you enjoyed this monologue. Basically, it sums up my pros and cons of the Weather Channel. Next week's monologue will be a short list of "Honest Slogans." After "Honest Slogans," I will be posting a monologue; the popular "Losing Things" by George Carlin. See ya!

Top 12 Favorite George Carlin Routines

12. Advertising Lullabye (1999)- "Don't forget to come pick up your free gift. A deluxe, pretty, custom-made, handheld, gourmet combination pocket pencil sharpener, garden hose and hanky. It's our way of saying 'thank you.'"

11. Euphemisms (1990)- "Sometime in my life, toliet paper became bathroom tissue, sneakers became running shoes and doctors became medical professionals."

10. A Place For My Stuff (1984)- "That's all your house is. It's a place to keep your stuff so you can go out and get more stuff."

9. Stuff On Cars And Driving (1984)- "Let's go for a drive. Actually, you'll go for a ride, I'll go for a drive."

8. Baseball and Football (1990)- "Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything is dying."

7. Words (1977)- "On the airlines, they tell you that it's going to be a nonstop flight. WHAT? I would appreciate that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport."

6. Little Things We Share (1992)- "It's just like ice cream throat. You know, when you eat a lot of ice cream and your throat starts to burn? Soon, it goes away. And then what do you do? EAT MORE ICE CREAM! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

5. Dogs And Cats (1982)- "You'll see your cat slam into the sliding glass door and he'll act as if he did that on purpose. But dogs? Dogs aren't that good of an actor. They'll slam into the door and start whimpering. Then, you'll know it was an accident."

4. People I Can Do Without (1988)- "A man in a hospital gown directing traffic. Guys in their eighties named Skip. People who get their names printed on their belts."

3. Losing Things (1986)- "Have you ever looked for your car keys in the freezer? Why not? They might be in there. Besides, you wouldn't want to pass up an obvious place like the freezer, would you?"

2. More Stuff On Cars And Driving (1988)- "I hate when people tell you to go in front of them while you're driving. Why don't you tell them to go? And when they go, crash into them. And when they get out to complain, say 'Hey. You told me to go.'"

1. Free-Floating Hostility (1996)- "I am so tired of people saying 'I heard that.' So here's what I do. I move twelve feet away from him and yell out a rude remark. When I'm done, I go back to him and say 'By any chance, did you happen to hear that?'"